The Experimental Retina Research Laboratory is a modern bio-tech research facility located in a historic Live Oak grove near Baltic Avenue in scenic northeastern Tallahassee. It is devoted to the study and development of bioengineered retinas to solve yet unknown vision problems of the future.
The Experimental Retina Research Laboratory has the world's largest collection of monkey retinas. These monkey retinas are stored in a facility which utilizes the extremely useful Petrick yeast by-product cooler.
Chief Research Director Phil Corsmeier has developed an experimental technique by which retinas are removed from monkeys and unwanted pets, stored in the facility, and bioengineered for useful purposes. Among the most important developments are retinas which can see around corners. Many of these results are classified because of obvious military utility. Further information may be obtained from the US Department of Defense Military Research Bureau.
We hasten to assure you that no monkeys are harmed in these retinal extractions.